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Marriage, Sex And Money


We will call her Mary. She is 40 years old and is a homemaker living in Chegutu.
Mary and Sam had a happy family life with two children when one day Sam lost his job and Chegutu Municipality.

They did not have much savings and used up their money within a year of the termination of Sam. Mary’s sister Emily was very critical of Sam and started talking about all sorts of negative things about him.

Mary was sad because of the financial crises in her family. Her sister Emily helped her with a good sum of money saying, “ I know a way you can bring your husband Sam into obeying you.” She advised Mary to refuse sex to her husband but put pressure on him to take up a job in the local bar, which he doesn’t like to do.

Mary started to act as if she is not interested in sex. Sam was desperate for having sex with his wife after two months of denial. Sam was concerned about his wife’s unusual behaviour and asked if she needed any medical advice when Mary told him to take up a job in the local bar. But Sam kept on searching for a job of his passion but couldn’t find one.

There were fights between Sam and Mary daily. Sam was frustrated and shared the matter with his best friend Tongai. Tongai was a psychiatrist and advised Sam to take her to a good psychologist. But Mary wouldn’t budge an inch.

Their children studying in 4th and 7th grades were sad and complained about their dad and mum to their teacher. The teacher talked to Mary about the matter. But Mary wouldn’t open up about the problems in her life.

After two years both Mary and Sam started to live separately. Their children lived with Mary. Finally, after three years both of them got divorced.

Moral Of The Story

Thousands of people around the world face similar situations of denying sex by their partners which finally leads to separation or divorce.

I would humbly request you open up to a therapist or a good friend rather than continue to emotionally blackmail your partner.

What are the effects of purposely denying sex to your partner?
Purposely denying sex by partners can have a variety of effects, both emotional and physical. Here are some possible effects:

Emotional effects: Feeling rejected, unloved, unattractive, undesired, angry, frustrated, or resentful are some of the common emotional effects of sexual denial.

It can cause a significant strain on the relationship and lead to communication breakdowns, arguments, and even the breakdown of the relationship itself.

Physical effects: Lack of sexual activity can lead to physical effects such as increased stress, anxiety, tension, and frustration. It can also lead to a decrease in sexual desire, which can impact overall health and well-being.

Infidelity: If one partner is consistently denied sex, they may seek it elsewhere, leading to infidelity.

Low self-esteem: Being rejected by a partner can lead to feelings of low self-worth and self-esteem, which can impact other areas of life as well.

Resentment: Over time, sexual denial can lead to resentment towards the partner who is denying sex, and this resentment can manifest in other areas of the relationship as well.
Overall, purposely denying sex by partners can have significant negative effects on the relationship and the individuals involved.

Partners need to communicate openly and honestly about their sexual needs and desires and work together to find solutions that work for both parties